Notes from Maine - 2021/09/12
Tomorrow, bright and early, I have a dentist appointment. A cracked molar needs a crown. This ends my extraordinary streak of good luck with dentistry. It was only a matter of time. Up until this point, I haven’t required any extractions, root canals, crowns, or braces. I have (had?) thirty-two healthy teeth with only a little minor crowding on my jaw. While my friends and family underwent pulling, orthodontics, and surgery, I skated by with unremarkable teeth that didn’t require much of anything.
I guess I have to admit that this failure of my lower-right second molar is a little troubling. I can’t help but think that it will be all downhill from here. When I was a kid, watching TV at my grandparents’ house (Merv Griffin, Lawrence Welk, etc.) there were always commercials for denture products. I figured by now I would be using Polident effervescent tablets to clean my dentures and Super Poligrip or Fixodent to hold them in place. Fixodent and forget it! Those adhesives seemed so secure, I could never figure out how you were supposed to get the dentures off at the end of the day so you could clean them with the Polident.
Martha Raye (spokesperson for Polident) was absolutely frightening to me. I didn’t know her from her earlier career, so I only remember her giant teeth gnashing as she talked about how the little tablets even cleaned “tough lab stains.” The whole thing played out as a nightmare in my imagination. Who were these scientists who created the “tough lab stains,” and why would they dedicate their life to such a pursuit? What did Martha Raye intend to do with her giant, white teeth? Why was she so proud of her enormous mouth? She talked about it in every commercial.
I’m still not certain why we bother with teeth at all. Is there an advantage to real teeth over dentures? Seems like a full set of dentures would be easier to maintain and clean. Maybe I’ll talk to my dentist about that tomorrow. I’ve only been going to this dentist for a couple of years. My previous dentist died and his practice was adopted by a pair of dentists I didn’t care for, so I switched based on the recommendation of a friend.
I’m not even sure I like this new guy. I haven’t dealt with him very much—tomorrow will be my first real procedure. I’ll try to keep that in mind. Having been there a few times for cleanings, it’s natural that I’ve started thinking of that office as my regular dentist, even though I’ve only interacted with the hygienist. I should really hold judgement until I’ve been through something more complex than a cleaning. I’m sure it will be fine.
Next up—my eyes.
Nothing lasts forever.
