Notes from Maine - 2020/05/17

The most interesting thing happened to me the other night. One dog, Finn, lives with me. I’ve mentioned him in one of these notes before, I’m sure. Finn is a delightful companion. At 160lbs (72.5kg or 11.5st.), he’s the smallest dog I’ve had in a long time. When he sees someone through the window, he will occasionally bark, but most of the time he’s completely silent.

If I’m in bed and he needs to go outside, he stands next to the bed and stares at me. Because of his height, he is able to look at me directly. I’m not sure what wakes me up. It’s probably just a sound or maybe the slight breeze from his nose, but I always know when he’s standing in front of me, wanting something.

That’s what happened the other night.

I woke up. The room was dark except for the light of the setting moon, and there was the dark shape of Finn right in front of me.

I asked him what was the matter and I reached out to pat his head.

My hand passed right through that darkness in front of me and I realized that I could see a patch of moonlight on the wall behind the spot. Blinking a couple of times, I doubted if I had really seen the darkness at all.

A moment later, I realized that I could hear Finn snoring in the corner. There’s a great big dog bed under the eaves and that’s where he sleeps most of the time.

Just to be sure, I woke him up. Finn’s hearing is not great at the moment, so I had to raise my voice to wake him. By that point, I was fully awake and I could see that there was nothing else in the room. But there was that moment when I first opened my eyes. I knew he was there, looking at me. Even with eyes shut, there’s a feeling when someone’s close and looking directly at you.

I believe the term for knowing someone is staring at you is scopaesthesia, but maybe that’s just the “psychic” version. In my opinion, our brain puts together clues that we’re not necessarily conscious of and it gives us the sense that we’re being stared at. In one study, people were able to predict if they were being stared at 50.2% of the time. That percentage was described as an “astonishing approximation” of pure chance.

I guess the best explanation was that I dreamt I was being stared at. I woke up and I discovered I wasn’t.

Regardless, I was back asleep a few seconds later.

That’s one thing I have going for me—I can fall asleep anywhere, at any time, even if my heart is pounding and I just looked into a black void that was hovering near my bed.

In other news, it hasn’t snowed in a week! I guess spring is here. Soon, the townsfolk will shed their masks (maybe?) and return to social closeness (maybe?), and we’ll all find out where that leads. I’ve lost the ability to form an opinion on the matter. I’m just going to do what I’m told because it’s not much of an imposition for me either way and I never want to be the source of someone else’s misery.

I hope you’re doing okay.