Notes from Maine - 2021/05/03
What happened to boredom?
There’s always so much to do. I can take a break and relax for a few minutes, but after that I have to get back to doing something. And even when I’ve had a full day, there are still plenty of chores that I’m actively avoiding. From where I’m sitting I can see the zipper that I need to sew into my winter coat, a stack of photos that need matting and framing, and branches that I tossed over the fence that need to be dragged down into the woods.
Who has the time for all that?
I can barely get done the modest list of essentials that I made for myself.
When I was a kid, boredom was always looming around every corner. I remember desperately trying to fight it off. My sister was always lost in a book. She never seemed to minded not having anything to do.
With all the devices and distractions, I’m not sure anyone experiences boredom anymore. Even waiting in line at the DMV, people are engrossed in their phones. If your batteries die, there are TV sets mounted everywhere with an inevitable Property Brothers show. The other day, I had to take my father in for an endoscopy. Turns out he has heartburn. Who knew that an endless diet of bologna sandwiches, canned pasta, and gin would give someone heartburn? Instead of watching Property Brothers in the waiting room, I decided to go down to my car and read. I’ve turned into the kid-version of my sister.
Sitting in the car, I had the window open a few inches for some fresh air.
I was hunched over, reading my book, when I heard a very interesting conversation behind me. A couple in the parking lot were having an argument.
“We have to tell someone,” the woman said.
“We have to be sure,” the man replied.
“This is a hospital. They can do something for him.”
“Not if he’s dead. No hospital can help with that,” the man said.
I froze, staring at my book, waiting to hear what would come next. I began to believe that these people were in the possession of a dead guy and they couldn’t decide if they should take him inside or not. I desperately wanted to turn around and look at them, but I was afraid they would run off if they saw me move.
The woman said, “I’m not going to do it. I’ll probably get attacked or something.”
This was getting better and better.
While I sat there, hunched over and frozen, I nearly jumped out of my seat when there was a knock on my window.
It was the guy half of the couple.
When I jerked away from window, he said, “Oh! So sorry! My mistake.”
The two of them quickly scurried away.
I was the dead guy.
Motionless, hunched over my book, they hadn’t seen me move in minutes so they figured that I was dead. I’m not the fastest reader in the world, but this was the first time I’ve been mistaken for deceased. Boredom is dead but I’m happy to report that I’m very much alive and I finished the book I was reading. It was a pretty good trip.
